Today 05-13-2013 - My Thoughts & Feelings

Hi There,

Now I realize my love life is heading no where. My girls is just staying with me just for the sake of staying (not physically). She is now more attached to a another young guy who is new in the office, i know it's just a matter of time the he is becoming her favorite and more lovable one.

He will be the most wonderful person in her life. the reason is, when she is more close to him, I am down and I am not the actual me and I become more boring and she will notice I am not any more interested. But I am because of that reason I am not. So she will be more interested him and will start an affair soon.

I don't know what to do in my life. I love her lot and I know she can not be trusted, because he get hooked up with all the nice young guys that she thinks is nice.

I am lost but i can not think of anyone else except about her. Think how it feels....... :)

My life was wonderful till the day i born and till the day I found that she is hooking up with other guys while saying I love you. Now it is hard for me to think that she can be only close friends with another guy.
Trust me till this day I was wondering what are the issues that other guys have in their life.

Now I understand this is the reason why every religion says to be single and to help others. because no matter what even you or other person in the relationship may cause you pain in the heart and you will become weak. I was a strong guy and my memory was fantastic before these, but now i am becoming weak thinking of these things daily before I go to sleep.

it's heard for me to sleep now as soon as i go to bed, these thoughts as hunting me and they are killing me.

You may say the people who suicide are stupid and worthless. But if you ever have being in the same situation you will never say that. (jump into the water and see how you the swim)

Ok. you may say that I have being in love and I have over come those. Yes, you have done that, you know why it's because you may never have loved the way or much as that person did.

Lesson - Never judge other under your level. other person may may higher or lover than the level you were.

Trust me, i believe  that I can be a player I forget her, because her is like that. she get along with any one that she can get the work done. If you read my previous posts you can understand her character. every article I post here is based on my experience with her.

Till now I do not have any hope of getting married and getting married to her, because in my heart i will always love her, but she is married to someone else and happy with him too.

So you can see life sucks and I have other way to let these out. All my close friends are getting married and moving out of the town (I have never even told this to them) I am all alone and I know I can not love any one else like the way I did to her, even though she don't know how much it is.

Hi, who ever is reading this, I can say I am out of love, I have given every single drop to her but she payed and still today playing with it. She get close to any young guy that she think is nice and when I ask you know what she told me last time. "Who are you to ask me like that?" nice words still kills me inside.

I don't know I can type with out stopping. I am crying now... and feel very lonely, thinking at this moment she is with some one else now and when she is back she is close to another guy. time to time she has a new guy.

I will stop for a smoke now and type soon......

I am back..

Love in this world is not the way as you see in movies. You may have that but other person does not. So if you find same two people like others then your life is wonderful and i say one of luckiest in this earth. trust me every body does not get this.

So I got to go. If any one is reading this (i know no body), do not betray your love just stick to it and you will find peace in your life. if not if other guy is loving you really he/she and your current spouse will be in pain.

I love my Shona but I can not have her, she is going after lover with other's too and she is married.

I really hate my life and may be deserve this for even thinking of something like that.

So every body is getting married and they are being loved and with the one they love (Or think that they love), but I got nothing and just crying every night in my bed.

See you. If you got love and if you feel it and also if that person is with you. Don't ever let go, just kick every thing behind and lover her/him. Money/glory or anything else doesn't matter, if you don't have these.

All the best I deeply with you all the best, God or any one who is controlling will never give you a love life like mine.

TC...
Cabby.....

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